Blonde Moments...no offense

To anyone else, it would be funny. To a person with a sleep deficit, hormone fluctuations, loud music and a crying baby in the background...doing something stupid that you can't blame on anyone but yourself is the tipping point into borderline insanity.
  At least there wasn't pain involved like the time I opened the cabinet, dropped something out, then raised up hitting my head on the corner of the cabinet that I just seconds before..opened. OUCH.
This time it wasn't as disgusting as accidentally eating diaper rash cream...twice.  Once, I thought it was marshmallow creme, the other time I thought it was the filling out of a donut....both times a cruel, mouth-watering, drooling disaster.
No, this time I was unable to get up and walk without falling over...something was holding me back, something sinister, perhaps I was having a stroke, maybe I was too fatigued to walk....turns out I was stepping on the opposite pant leg. Ooof!

Always the last to know...

     Many things in my little world just go right over my head.  As George and I pulled up to a red light a while back, I broke the (rare) silence in the vehicle by saying..."God, I never thought I would have FIVE kids." Now, I was not meaning to be blasphemous at all.  I was kind of talking to God, and George, and myself all at the same time.  It was like I didn't realize how it happened, or when it all happened, or mainly why I should have this life scenario.

     I contemplated my situation for a long time.  It's not like my plan all along was to get married and have 5 kids, Lord knows it wasn't simple like that, but that is where I am now ... having been on the convoluted path.  Why did I go to college if I am a stay at home mom?  I bear the title "homemaker" yet I am not a good cook, nor is the house ever spotless or even anywhere near that.  Why do I like to shop and buy people stuff if I do not have an income?  These things do not seem to jive.

     I think God gave me a little revelation because He pitied my confusion...
I remembered a time as a little girl when I pretended my dolls came to life and went outside after I went to bed, so naturally, I had to make sure they were warmly dressed before I turned in for the night.  Also,
I remember waiting for the bus on a snowy morning and another bus-riders mom let us wait inside her house so we would not freeze. I so desperately wanted to stay with her in her house which smelled like vanilla and coffee and watch Good Morning America.  In other childhood memories, when we played "school" I always had to be the teacher, AND make the snacks.  I wanted to be creative and make things and sell them or give them as gifts.  (Painted rocks were not profitable, BTW) I also wanted to write stories and poems and letters to people...even people in prison which my mom didn't allow. In later years when I started to earn money for, of all things, babysitting...I saved my money (the earned kind and that which I got as a gift) diligently and used my own version of "the envelope system" to budget my spending. My buying habits were very conservative, but I always had nice things, and everything I needed for sure.
    All this life experience  couldn't have prepped me to be anything other than  a care-giving, home-staying, homeschooling, cookie-baking, blog-writing, coupon-clipping MOM.
Duh!

The Tithe Story

Top Ten Percent

                I was asked to write about my favorite tithing story…no problem, it is fresh in my memory.  When I sat down to write this recollection, however, I felt like some explanation of a tithe needed to come first.  A simple definition: ten percent of your income earmarked for the church.  More than that, though, it is a test of our obedience and faith, as well as an opportunity to join in the work God is doing and being blessed by what can happen when we allow our little droplet of money to jump into the pool of resources destined for bigger impact.

                A general memory of tithing dates back to childhood, hearing and seeing my parents (both of them worked) getting their tithe together, writing a check and sticking it in the envelope for the offering plate.  No grumbling, no worries, it was a given.

 Before my husband was “saved” (another story for another time) our church attendance was sporadic and I’m pretty sure George would not have known or cared about the “ten percent” thing.  We were definitely living paycheck to paycheck, and easily blowing ten percent on non-essential junk.

                After 2002, however, lots of things changed around here.  The man who previously wouldn’t care to read any book dove head first into the Holy Bible and …Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover.  This combination of reference materials meant tithing was now a part of our family’s existence.  It wasn’t an optional, casual thing.    It was very important to him to tithe because his newly found faith in Christ was changing things for the better, and God seemed to be pouring out the grace.

                Here’s the story part:  We planned a trip to Pennyrile Forest State Resort Park one weekend.  We rented a cabin for 2 nights which meant we wouldn’t be at church to drop off our tithe.  George realized this when we were in Henderson gassing up the vehicle, so he insisted that we put the tithe check in the mail before we go any further.  Of course, I reasoned that we could just write a check for 2 weeks next time and call it a day.  He said that wouldn’t represent first fruits if we spent money on lots of other things, and even received money again before giving to the church.  He said that God would know his heart on the matter and to just mail it regardless of all the logistics like when the church would get it, when they would cash it, etc. So, I mailed it...there was a big mailbox nearby.

                Our cabin at the park was one of several others that were occupied by an apparent family reunion…we were the only ones on this particular stretch that “didn’t belong.” Slightly awkward, but we just went about our fun on the paddleboats, at the pool, walking around the lake.  The second day we were there, a water pipe to all of our cabins broke, and we were without water.  That was unfortunate, but they said they were working on it and it didn’t bother us as we were going to Eddyville to play at Venture River Water Park that day anyway. We ate a wonderful supper at the lodge and returned to find that we still didn’t have water, so we took a chlorine bath at the Lodge Pool.  That evening…if I have my timeline correct, they managed to get the water going again, but only to our cabin, debris was clogging the line to all the others.  The reunion group was very unhappy and said they were leaving, but before they left, they gave us quite a bit of their food, since many wouldn’t be there to cook it or eat it.  People from that group kept bringing us food they didn’t want to have to take with them, one person after another brought sweet corn, bread, juice, eggs, cheese, ice cream all kinds of stuff.   It was actually much more than our family could eat.  This reminded George of the verse in Malachi where he says something like…see if I will not throw open the floodgates and pour out so much blessing that there will not be enough room for it.  What a blessing indeed!  When we went to check out, the desk clerk apologized for our inconvenience and gave us a percentage off discount, which was another blessing.

                We call this our tithe story because everything was just so obvious that it couldn’t be mistaken for anything other than a lesson from God.

Letter to my family...

Letter to my family…

Dear Family,

        First of all, I love each and every one of you very, very much.  I am writing this letter to give you some insight on what it is like to be a mom.  Also, writing is probably my best form of communication second only to lecturing. 

As a mom, I feel like it is my job to make sure you are all safe from harm.  I try to make sure you are not physically injured by teaching you about safety (example: don’t touch that red hot glowing  burner, stay away from moving vehicles, don’t run with scissors or other sharp objects ) and personal health (you are not allowed to have 6 energy drinks because I don’t want your heart to explode, you can’t eat candy for breakfast or drink soda because it is not good for your teeth, you have to eat fruits and vegetables so that you can grow strong and be able to play hard and think clearly, etc.)  I try to be vigilant about what you watch, read, listen to, or are otherwise exposed to in this world.  (Example: internet supervision, playstation time limits, filtered movie and TV options, and interactions with peers and friends.) These things are very important because these are the years that you are developing who you are as a person.  It would be irresponsible of me to let you make all of your own decisions based on your limited knowledge and life experience.  I was raised to be a responsible person, so you can thank your grandparents for that…Anyway, I would like to take a moment to report that I am very proud of the smart, caring, responsible kids you are and that each of you have unique, wonderful personalities that often make me smile with pride.  I am honestly blown away by the genuine love you have for one another.

  I am completely impressed by the way you look out for one another’s interests and safety and general well-being. Like when I see Kyler do his chores without being told or without complaining, and when I think I’m right about something and start to yell, Kyler just calmly discusses the issue and leaves it at that.  That is a sign of maturity, an example of grace. Way to go, son.

I am also very humbled by  Carson’s genuine caregiving to his younger siblings…it is a blessing to see that he has made oatmeal and fed Joely, cleaned up after her, and all the while maintains a loving attitude.  I like to see him purposefully engage in activities with Harmonie, teach her how to do things, and when he bought her the Barbie house at a yard sale…it was his idea, his money, his gift to her because he thought she would like it.  Beautiful generosity.

I consider myself very lucky to have such an energetic daughter with a helpful spirit.  Being in the middle of big brothers and younger sisters has to be difficult, and I need to remember that Harmonie needs Mom-time to learn some of the more subtle ways to get along with others instead of having to be the loudest, or the best at something, or anything else that is not true to her loving, sweet, funny self.  She is a whiz at organizing and cleaning her room in a hurry…she can do most things in a hurry, but that doesn’t mean we have to. I just like spending time with her, wish I had more opportunities for that.

Anyone else that is a mom knows it is an exhausting job taking care of a newborn…but you all are not moms, and so let me be a little more specific.  The exhaustion comes from lack of good restorative sleep that you can only get by being able to achieve all stages of sleep without interruption.  My sleep is interrupted by crying to be fed, or crying to be changed, or weird baby noises that sound like irregular breathing, gagging, etc. With each one of these things, I wake up and take care of whatever it is.  This is all normal, and I had to do this with all of you. Dad even tries to help, but the reality is I am the only one who can nurse and I might as well change her and freak out about the other stuff all by myself, too.  Nursing a baby is very draining (no pun intended).  I have never been energetic, and when I’m nursing, there is even less energy to be had. Not to mention, I have to make sure my other children and husband are fed, bathed, have clean clothes, make sure food and supplies are maintained, keep the bills paid up to date, make sure our living environment is clean (enough) and the most important thing …which is to raise you right…back to my original point.  I am responsible for raising you to be responsible, so you can raise your kids to be responsible, so they can raise their kids to be responsible, and so on, and so on.  I am sure you have noticed I am sluggish sometimes; some things I am supposed to do don’t get done.  You may not be able to help much with the newborn, or say, pay the bills, or go to the grocery, but you can help with the other stuff.  If everyone would just consistently do ALL of their chores without complaining and without skipping the ones nobody likes.

  I would like for you to know that you absolutely have permission to do anything that needs to be done even if it is not your chore.  If there is a towel on the floor, hang it up, if there is a dirty glass on the table put it in the dishwasher or sink, if there is something sticky on the table, wipe it off.  Here are some other “unwritten chores” that you should be doing anyway: put your shoes in the pantry or your room…not the bathroom, nor living room or the middle of any walking path, put your clean clothes away, put your dirty clothes down the chute, and take care of your dishes after you eat.  If everyone did their part, our home would be pretty neat, and I would be a lot less stressed and grumpy.  So, see, you have it within your power to make me a better mom.  I love you guys!

MOM

Photo Book

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Even I can't Believe it...Diaper Quest part 1

     Well, I've either gone off the deep end, or I'm finally getting the hang of domestic life.  As I finished yet another "cloth diaper" that I sewed all by myself last night, I just couldn't help but think...what is this I am doing here??? 
     I am no Martha Stewart.  My family would never say I am a great cook, or housecleaner, or any good at pretty much anything to do with being a homemaker.  But, the two things that I can do that, at the very least don't bother me, are 1. changing diapers (my own kids...sometimes the gag reflex happens for others) and 2. doing laundry.  Seems like a logical combo for trying out cloth diapering on this baby.  I have never used them with any of the other kids, so I may not be successful, but I'll give it a whirl.
    Of course I have extensively researched the types and costs of various cloth diapering methods and I have picked the brains of moms I know who have used them.  The upfront cost is somewhat prohibitive, but if you bought a few things at a time while you were pregnant, you could be ready to go when baby comes.  I, however, was not willing to pay the price ($20 plus) per diaper for something mass produced in China and sold @ Babies R Us. There are websites with handmade diapers from Work At Home Moms available, too, but the price can be high there as well.   The idea of using "used" cloth diapers just didn't appeal to my current senses...when...if I made my own it wouldn't cost much at all.  Next question: Can I sew? Not very well...even with a machine.  Next question: Does it really matter?  No...this is a diaper we are talking about here...even the beautiful, fancy, cute, modern, designer fabric ones get pooped on anyway.
     The easiest diaper to make is a "prefold".  This is what people use for burp cloths these days. It is just a square, or rectangle rather, with a thickness down the middle.  I used old receiving blankets to make a bunch of these.  Cut the blanket into four pieces, then fold two of the pieces in half lengthwise, overlap them in the middle so there are equal "thirds" of material ( a 2 layer third, a 4 layer third in the middle, and a 2 layer third) then sew the edges of the thick part down, then sew all the way around the outside edge.  One blanket makes 2 prefold diapers if you cut it into 4 pieces.   Minimal cost here, mostly time.  This diaper has to be used with a waterproof cover and it has to be pinned on, or use a snappi.  A snappi is a neat little plastic thingy that grips the diaper strategically to hold it in place.  (Quicker than pins for sure)
     Another diaper that I have made is called an "All-In-One".  This is a fitted diaper that has a layer of waterproof material (PUL) inside, as well as absorbant material. I used microfiber cloths for that.  I traced a stretched out disposable diaper to make the pattern for this one.  I'll spare the lengthy details on exactly how to make one of these (there are online tutorials), it is kind of tricky figuring out the whole right side/ wrong side of the material, and which side your stitches will be on when you turn it right side out.  Uggghhh...the first one I made with a really cute kitty cat printed flannel ended up with the print to the inside, so I had to put some random material on it to make it not look "wrong".  That one has royal blue leopard print on the outside and it has been dubbed "the stupidest diaper ever" because Kyler caught my frustration with it on the video camera.  Thank goodness I try to limit cursing when children are around.  I have been successful with subsequent All in Ones, so I feel good about that.
     I have attempted to make a couple of waterproof covers out of a material called PUL.  They turned out stupid, too.  So, I bought some Gerber waterproof pants ... hardly a splurge @ $3.99 per pack of 2.
I did make a drawstring "wet bag" out of the PUL material to put the soiled diapers in...then you just wash  everything, bag and all when it is full.
     All in all, I think I have spent maybe $35 on material that I have actually used, the waterproof pants, elastic, thread, snaps, velcro.  I don't have a large amount of finished products, but considering how many diapers babies go through in a day...if I just replace a few disposables per day with cloth, I will eventually recover my cost and then surely save money over time.  Oh, and space in the landfill, too.

Homeschool IS different...

     It is exhausting defending the right and preference for homeschooling sometimes.  In one of my many opportunities to "explain" it, I think I finally hit on the right combination of words.  To sum it up in one word, I would choose the word "different".  Home school is different than public school.  Home school is different than private school.  Home school is different than parochial school. 
     Now, to only speak for myself from this point on, I would say...we are not trying to recreate any school method at home.  We don't have to, we don't want to, we don't need to.  Those methods are in place because one teacher has a room full of same-age kids, doing the same thing at the same time.  I took "methods" classes in college, that is where you learn classroom management, discipline and behavior modification techniques, mostly. Teaching certain material to certain kids with different learning styles is talked about, but reality dictates that you would have to figure that out as you go, based on real kids and real curriculum.  Any logical person can surmise that one teacher is not going to be able to teach the same material in the same way to  all kids and have a 100% success rate.  They have to vary their methods, or develop a method that will  efficiently encompass MOST students.  Herein lies the frustration for classroom teachers...they are expected to reach all students sufficiently in each subject area during the allotted class time...with no child left behind.  In order not to leave anyone behind, they may teach geared toward the slowest learner, thus slowing down the whole class.  There are procedures followed in a public school because of school rules, government statutes, and requirements that fluctuate depending on who is the principal, superintendent, governor, etc.   God Bless those teachers...it is challenging, I'm sure.
          That addresses merely Academic issues.  Then there is everything else.  How do you want your kids to dress: modestly. How do you want them to act: with character and integrity.  How do you want them to speak:  respectfully.  How do you want them to treat other people:  with kindness.  A public school is definitely a showcase for the gamut of ill-behavior...fighting, cursing, promiscuity, immodest dress.  I can honestly report great statistics for attendance and good behavior in our home school.  Before I go on a tangent here, I don't want to get into comparing. 
     Naturally there is going to be overlap among school methods and home school methods.  We do have curriculum, we do have goals, there are assignments and field trips.  Our pace, however, is not dictated by an outside entity, it is dictated by individual need.  I sometimes get caught up in the comparison game..."so and so" is in Kindergarten and she can read...your daughter is in first grade and she can't.  AAAAARRRRGGGHHH! That pierces my pride, because I know if I had sent my daughter to school, under the same circumstances day in and day out as "so and so", she would be able to read by now, too.
 So what. 
I have enjoyed her company at home, and her creativity has been stretched and utilized and provided many learning opportunities in the realm of problem solving.  Her many scenario's often include constructing a store, making paper money, labeling her toys for sale, writing invitations to the grand opening (spelled phonetically, not correctly, but that's OK), or she is the librarian and gathers a collection of books.  She likes to play outdoors with her siblings, imagination in full steam there, as well.  Freedom is priceless.
   To reword my point here...no one else need worry that my kids are "behind" their public/private/parochial school peers...we are not on that track.  We are not in that race.  We are doing something different here, it is organic in nature, it is unfolding on its own...you cannot predict it, judge it, evaluate it.  We have goals here, they are both spiritual and practical, and I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but I deserve the right to home school, just as much as others deserve the right to choose public or other schools for their kids.  This is America, people have fought and died for freedoms such as these...Indiana is a very "home school-friendly" state, and that is not lost on me.   I am grateful for this opportunity to educate my own children as I see fit, and I intend to revel in this particular freedom.

The Unbirthday Party...or...The Anti-Party Birthday

   Ok...first...necessity is the mother of invention.  Second, I will have to admit that No. 2 son's birthday just came out of nowhere and suprised me this year.  Over the years, I have become less and less of a planner and more and more a fan of the "fly by the seat of your pants" methodology.  Luckily, I function generally well under pressure.
      So, Monday, I realize that Carson's actual birthday is Tuesday. No weekend party planned, no sleepover, no cake ordered nor the materials to bake one...as a matter of fact, he has an orthodontist appointment scheduled that day.  If that doesn't spell F U N  then I don't know what does.  That's right up there with the year I put new toothbrushes and socks in the Christmas stockings. 
     Anyway...On Tuesday, between errands, I inform Carson that since this is his special day, he gets to pick anything or anyplace he wants for supper, and either bowling or a movie.  I took a courtesy spin thru the parking lot of the cheap theater, not to influence, just to see if there was anything he wanted to see there.  Cha-Ching...Yogi Bear is there!!!  It gets better, for supper, he wants to order Papa John's Pizza and have it delivered at home...$12.42...theater tickets...$15.00 for a family of six (one free baby of course)...Back at home, I happened to have all the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies...so I made some and one big one for the birthday boy...he loved it.   I may be done with birthday parties forever! This was too easy.

Self-Pay...

Ha! This does not mean pay yourself a little something.  This is what you tell the Doctor's office when they ask for your insurance card, and you don't carry insurance.  Then they ask for money.  Today was my first prenatal visit.  And this is not my first rodeo...I know that the "Doctor's fee" is seperate from the "Hospital charges" and every little lab test has its own bill.  You have to ASK for the "self-pay" discount, they don't just assume you would want it.(making a dumb face while shrugging my shoulders) So, trying to be pro-active, I want to know how much this is going to cost me.  I have been on the phone all afternoon, calling various numbers that I have, only to be told I need to call a different #, where they then tell me I have to call yet another number because they don't have that information, etc., etc.,  I just want to plan ahead, people.  I don't like to plop down $9,000 all at once!!! It seems like the world is against trying to be responsible.

Moments...

Moments are fleeting...if they are good, we must burn them into our brains!  I think we do this automatically as human beings because I remember really fun things from waaaaayyy back there in my childhood.  I only hope my kids are doing the same.  That being said, I hope I remember that being 36 isn't so bad, when I'm say 56, and being 56 is a walk in the park compared to being 76 and any age you are after that is day after day of potential to have good memories until you are gone from this earth. 
Note to self: Don't screw it up for everyone, Kim!!!

Mean Mommy...

So I have realized that I am mean.  A mean mom, that is.  Under the pressure to discipline my generally well-behaved children, I have been the mean one for years.  Lord knows my husband isn't the heavy.  Unfortunately, I feel like I have no control over the "reprimand gene".  It just comes out.  I have read all about how positive reinforcement works better than punishment, and that makes sense to me, but I can't seem to do it.  How was I raised?  I don't remember.  Wait, yes I do.  I was  probably the least disciplined, however I do remember getting paddled or spanked.  Not too many times, but memorable nonetheless. I can only imagine that my own mother would have been "meaner" to me if she had to be around me as much as I am around my kids...which is 24/7.  What is the answer to my meanness, should I get a job or send the kids to school?  Getting a job would mean the kids go to school by default, and sending them to school and me staying home sounds like heaven...right now.  Unfortunately, I would have to throw my convictions out the window if I did either. I don't wish for my children to be raised or educated by anyone else when I am available to do so. Perhaps there is a middle ground, something I can do to bring serenity into my environment, to add peace to the landscape...Prayer, meditation, DUCT TAPE!(for my own mouth, of course;)

How do you spell phenergen?

I don't know if I spelled that right...This is what the Dr. prescribed when I told her about my heinous nausea.  I had been warned that it would "knock me out".  Armed with this information, I decided to take only half a pill...still knocked me out.  Ok, I'll just take a fourth, which resembles a crumb, still knocked me out and did not take care of my nausea.  So I'm in a quandry...one day, I think I will just take a whole one, say so long cruel world, and see how far that gets me.

Now I remember...

Now I remember why I said I couldn't do this whole pregnancy thing again.  Uggghhh...vomiting, lethargy, the house is getting behind...and by my standards this means almost horrific conditions.  Where is that cleaning fairy, do I have to put a broken feather duster under my pillow?