Who can I blame?

Who can I blame? My house is always an upside-down, inside-out hot mess. Considering I am a "homemaker", a "stay at home mom", a "housewife" (snicker...does anyone say that anymore?)...you would think there would be some degree of organization around here.

Nope. Not a lot.

I try to focus on the positive, like, " thank the Lord we don't have pets in the house, too."
or this good point, "I guess it could be worse."

 It gives me some kind of strange comfort when I read books and articles about organization. First of all, they are so logical. That stuff makes sense, so I am motivated to try, try again.  Some of the books I have read even go so far as to say that people are either born organized or they are not...I think I was not, but surely I could learn. Right? So I get the bins, the tubs, the labels, etc.

My firstborn just recently left the nest. Although that was bittersweet, I have noticed two things that give me hope. 1. My oldest daughter has picked up the slack on the chore list. 2. The water bill is about half what it was when he lived here. (he showered and changed clothes multiple times a day)(This also translates into less laundry for me.) Yay.

I have spent the last 20 years actively engaged in one OR MORE of these 4 things: pregnant, nursing a baby, diapering, or potty training...no breaks.  When Millie is out of diapers, then perhaps I will be able to get somewhere. (I keep telling myself.)

Until then, I think I will blame it on the kids.

Mean Mommy...

So I have realized that I am mean.  A mean mom, that is.  Under the pressure to discipline my generally well-behaved children, I have been the mean one for years.  Lord knows my husband isn't the heavy.  Unfortunately, I feel like I have no control over the "reprimand gene".  It just comes out.  I have read all about how positive reinforcement works better than punishment, and that makes sense to me, but I can't seem to do it.  How was I raised?  I don't remember.  Wait, yes I do.  I was  probably the least disciplined, however I do remember getting paddled or spanked.  Not too many times, but memorable nonetheless. I can only imagine that my own mother would have been "meaner" to me if she had to be around me as much as I am around my kids...which is 24/7.  What is the answer to my meanness, should I get a job or send the kids to school?  Getting a job would mean the kids go to school by default, and sending them to school and me staying home sounds like heaven...right now.  Unfortunately, I would have to throw my convictions out the window if I did either. I don't wish for my children to be raised or educated by anyone else when I am available to do so. Perhaps there is a middle ground, something I can do to bring serenity into my environment, to add peace to the landscape...Prayer, meditation, DUCT TAPE!(for my own mouth, of course;)