Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Mean Mommy...
So I have realized that I am mean. A mean mom, that is. Under the pressure to discipline my generally well-behaved children, I have been the mean one for years. Lord knows my husband isn't the heavy. Unfortunately, I feel like I have no control over the "reprimand gene". It just comes out. I have read all about how positive reinforcement works better than punishment, and that makes sense to me, but I can't seem to do it. How was I raised? I don't remember. Wait, yes I do. I was probably the least disciplined, however I do remember getting paddled or spanked. Not too many times, but memorable nonetheless. I can only imagine that my own mother would have been "meaner" to me if she had to be around me as much as I am around my kids...which is 24/7. What is the answer to my meanness, should I get a job or send the kids to school? Getting a job would mean the kids go to school by default, and sending them to school and me staying home sounds like heaven...right now. Unfortunately, I would have to throw my convictions out the window if I did either. I don't wish for my children to be raised or educated by anyone else when I am available to do so. Perhaps there is a middle ground, something I can do to bring serenity into my environment, to add peace to the landscape...Prayer, meditation, DUCT TAPE!(for my own mouth, of course;)
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I hear you and I feel you for sure! I've been working on my own meanness too. I feel like, for the most part, it helps to have that "epiphany." Now that you have it, I'd try and really concentrate on modulating your voice, thinking before you yell, stuff like that. It's what I have been working on the last few days, and I think it's helping. I am sure that some scriptures would help too...and just surrounding yourself with support. Maybe read some gentle discipline type blogs? I know, more than anything, if I could turn back time I would yell and spank far, far less. Right now I am trying to undo some damage! *Hugs* and congrats on this place in the journey!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement Kate...I am working on it!
ReplyDeleteI read an article recently that when parenting we should focus on our behavior rather than our children's behavior. That way we teach them to respond the way we would like them to. I don't get upset over a righteous anger, but when I lose it simply because I am being perfectionistic that just sits with me all wrong. So, for now I'm focusing 'making my own attitude that of Jesus Christ' and setting the example. Doesn't work everyday, but it works some days.
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